


Right Next To Me (after all that I’ve done)

by I_write_fanfiction_sometimes



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, theo’s having a tough time okay? But it’s fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-12 02:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20133574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_write_fanfiction_sometimes/pseuds/I_write_fanfiction_sometimes
Summary: Maybe you shouldn’t hide away from the world on your birthday. And maybe you shouldn’t get spectacularly drunk. Maybe you shouldn’t call your friends while you’re drunk. Maybe it’s not a good idea to tell said friend how hung up you still are on past mistakes. Theo’s brain hasn’t gotten those messages.





	Right Next To Me (after all that I’ve done)

**Author's Note:**

> All the personal angst has got to go somewhere! Also I finished this at 1am and yeah. Excuse any mistakes, they’re all mine. Title from Don’t Deserve You by Plumb which is a fantastic song and you should check it out.

The day Theo turns eighteen he avoids everyone and gets spectacularly drunk. It’s only when it’s one am and he’s lying awake in an empty apartment that he starts to feel lonely. He doesn’t really know why he was so determined to be alone earlier, but it felt wrong somehow to be surrounded by people that were happy for him. Like it was making his skin too tight, just wrong. Now though, he feels like if he doesn’t hear another person’s voice he’ll disintegrate and turn to dust. He’s dialling Liam’s number before he realizes that his phone is even in his hand. It’s a weird feeling, knowing that Liam will pick up. 

“Are you okay?” Liam asks immediately, sounding sleepy.

Theo doesn’t say anything. After a moment there’s the sound of sheets shifting, like Liam is struggling to wake himself up. 

He sounds a lot more aware when he speaks again.    
“Theo?”

“Yeah,” Theo’s voice cracks around the single syllable. 

He can practically see the frown on Liam’s face. 

“What’s wrong? You’ve been ignoring everyone all day. We’ve been worried.”

“Liam?” Theo asks, ignoring the other boy. “I’m 18. I actually made it to adulthood.”

There’s a pause and Theo curls into himself on his bed.

“Yeah… but. You don’t sound very happy about that,” Liam says quietly. 

Theo sighs.   
“I don’t know. I feel like… like maybe I shouldn’t have.” 

He realizes as he says it that it’s true, that’s what’s been eating him since last night. He also thinks that maybe he shouldn’t have said it. 

“You absolutely should have,” Liam replies, sounding angry. 

Theo blinks into his pillow and feels the pressure of tears build behind his eyes. 

“I don’t know, Liam, I did some terrible things.” 

There’s a beat of silence and then Liam growls. There’s some aggressive shuffling on the other end of the phone and Theo clenches his hand, feeling his fingernails dig into his palm. 

“You’re an idiot,” Liam hisses, sounding like he’s on the verge of hitting something. 

“Sorry,” Theo says in a small voice. 

Liam sighs. The line is silent and Theo hates it. He shouldn’t have called. 

“Theo?” 

Theo rolls onto his back but doesn’t answer. Liam waits for nearly a full minute before speaking again. 

“I’m coming over.”

Theo sits up and feels panic fill him. 

“No!” He exclaims, “why?” 

There’s the sound of a window opening and when Liam speaks again it’s in a whisper. 

“You need me,” He says. Like it’s that simple. 

“You’ll get in trouble,” Theo protests, but it’s weak and Liam doesn’t even bother replying. 

“You’re at your apartment?” Liam asks after a good five minutes of the sound of shoes on pavement. 

Theo grumbles. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” 

Liam sounds exasperated and Theo can’t stop the small smile that tugs at the corners of his mouth. 

“Are you seriously running around in the middle of the night for me?” He asks quietly after a moment. 

Liam groans. 

“When are you going to understand that we like you? That you’re part of the team?” 

Liam sounds slightly out of breath and Theo feels guilty again. 

“You really don’t have to do this.” He mumbles. 

There’s another growl through the phone and Theo flops back down onto the bed. 

“Fine.” 

He can practically hear Liam grin through the phone.

“I’m almost there anyway. You wouldn’t send me back now would you?” He teases. 

Theo laughs reluctantly. 

“You have a key, I couldn’t lock you out.”

There’s a moment with only the sound of Liam’s steady breathing. 

“You really couldn’t, I wouldn’t let you,” he replies, and it sounds more serious than Theo was hoping for. 

Liam goes silent after saying that, like it’s a little more truth then he was intending to share. 

They’re both silent until Liam’s footsteps slow to a walk and there’s the sound of a door opening. 

“I’m here, Theo, I’m gonna hang up now,” Liam says quietly. 

There’s the sound of people talking quietly in the background and then the sound of the elevator door closing. 

“Okay,” Theo whispers, closing his eyes. 

He hears it when the call ends, not from any noise exactly, but from the sudden lack of noise. He feels even more alone than before. It only takes Liam a couple of minutes before there’s the sound of his key in the lock, but it feels like forever to Theo. He’s cold, but he can’t be bothered to do anything about it. Liam finds him lying flat on his back, sprawled across his bed. His phone is on the pillow by his head where he dropped it after the line cut off. Liam frowns down at him and Theo forces a grin onto his lips. 

“I can’t believe that was enough to drag you out of your nice warm bed,” he says, going for lighthearted.

Liam frowns harder and strides toward the bed. Theo sits up and rests back against the wall, turning his body so Liam is right in front of him. They’re locked in a staring match for a moment, Theo still with a stupid fake grin on his face and Liam looking like he’s about ten seconds away from punching something. 

“Can I sit?” Liam finally asks. 

Theo nods, looking away. The bed dips as Liam clambers up to sit beside him. 

“Are you really still feeling guilty about the things you did two years ago?” he asks quietly. 

Theo breathes out harshly. 

“Shouldn’t I feel guilty?” He asks quietly, “the people I hurt, killed even, those people don’t get to forget. Some of them didn’t make it to this day. And I did.” 

Liam leans back against the headboard and stares up at the ceiling. Theo watches the light from passing cars flicker across his face. 

“You were a different person.” He offers in reply. Like it’s that simple. 

“It was still me.” 

He can’t stand to look at Liam anymore. Liam, with his perfect jawline and clean conscious. Liam, who’s never hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. He can feel the other boy’s eyes on him now. They burn. 

“The person you are now deserves to live.” Liam whispers, like it’s some kind of confession, “I want him to live.”

Theo can’t help it. He glances up. Liam is watching him with the kind of earnestness only he and Scott can pull off. And with something else. Something Theo can’t bring himself to name. 

“Do you?” Theo asks quietly, not sure if he wants to hear it again or erase the first time from his mind. 

“Of course.” Liam says. 

Liam sits up and turns to face Theo. His hand shakes slightly when he reaches to touch him. Theo lets Liam wrap a hand around the back of his neck, and he doesn’t flinch when the other boy’s fingers dig in a little too harshly. 

“We- I want you here, Theo.”

There’s the pressure behind his eyes again and the feeling of his skin being too tight. He wants to reach out for Liam but he still doesn’t know if he’s allowed to. He hates not knowing. 

“Do you know that?” 

Liam’s eyes are wide and his hand is so so warm on Theo’s neck, just a bit too tight, but Theo doesn’t mind. It feels real. 

“I might.” He whispers back. 

Liam hisses and he grabs Theo’s hand. The fabric of Liam’s shirt is soft and his chest is hard, but Theo can feel his heart beating underneath all of that. 

“Am I lying?” He asks fiercely. 

They’re too close, Liam is nearly on his lap, but Theo can’t move. There is no stutter to Liam’s heartbeat. 

“No.” He breathes, curling the fingers of his other hand into the sheets. 

“Don’t ever think we wouldn’t rather have you here now. Have a chance to know this you.” Liam insists. 

Theo’s breath hitches and he tries to lean back, away from Liam’s hand and Liam’s warmth and Liam’s stupid, stupid earnestness. Liam follows, kneeing his way over clumsily and nearly collapsing into Theo’s lap. 

“Don’t try and leave. Please.” 

The tears finally spill over. They’re silent, and he’s not really crying, but they’re still there, sliding down his cheeks. Liam makes a noise in the back of his throat and then he’s cradling Theo’s jaw with both hands and leaning in. Theo meets him halfway. He clutches at Liam’s elbows and his thighs and tries not to fall apart. He’s not sure he succeeds. But Liam’s hands are warm on his face, and the weight of him on Theo’s thighs is grounding. The kiss kind of tastes like salt, but Liam is smiling a little so it’s obviously not a problem. 

It’s only after Liam pulls back and starts running his fingers through Theo’s hair instead of kissing him that Theo remembers they don’t usually do this. 

“Was that a pity kiss?” He asks quietly, not wanting to break the look in Liam’s eyes, but needing to know. 

Liam laughs softly. 

“No. But let’s talk about it tomorrow okay? We need to sleep.” 

Theo is surprised to realize that his eyelids feel heavy. 

“Yeah. Okay.” He mumbles. 

Liam leans back and starts to move to get off of Theo’s lap, but Theo reaches for him carefully before he moves too much. His hand fits perfectly along the curve of Liam’s neck. 

“Can I-“ he clenches his teeth and looks away for a moment, “can I kiss you?” 

Liam nods, his face serious. 

Theo is happy to realize that they fit just as well the second time as they did the first. Liam makes a quiet noise when they part, and then his cheeks flush red. 

“I’m sorry,” he mutters nervously, “let’s sleep now and ignore that.” 

Theo feels something inside him come loose. He feels lighter. 

“Okay. In the morning.” 

Liam rolls his eyes and maneuvers himself under the covers. 

“Whatever. In the morning.” 

He sounds exasperated, but he still shuffles close to Theo before closing his eyes. Theo is only awake for a little longer than Liam, but it’s long enough to memorize the sight of Liam sleeping beside him. He’s not sure if that little bit of doubt and guilt will ever go away, but it almost feels like it could with Liam trusting him enough to sleep like this. He doesn’t know exactly what this means but he’ll figure it out. 

In the morning. 

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe I’ll start writing again? A girl can dream. You can try and find me on tumblr, it’s too late to try and finness a link on mobile.   
Leave a kudo or a comment (pls) if you enjoyed my therapy session!


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